No Latex Lover

I changed my image recently, became an inflamed giraffe. An itchy mess of an ugly red rash broke out on my back and torso. Eczema, the Dr said, or psoriasis maybe. Be interesting to see how long it takes to clear, he said.

Interesting was not a sentiment I agreed with and as I scratched while I scribbled for a few weeks, I still failed to find it ‘interesting’. Let’s all just sit around and see how long it takes to heal. Anyone want a guess, a week, two, a month, longer? I didn’t have longer. I had three weeks in which to slip into an off the shoulder, (very off the shoulder in fact, it goes halfway down my back) D&G dress. Three weeks, that’s all. I couldn’t sit around and muse over interesting rash behaviour.

I had gone through two tubes of ointment before going to the interested GP. He prescribed me a stronger one, just a single 30g tube. Just put it on the ones that are cosmetically irritating, he said. I’m 5 ft 7 – there’s a whole lot of skin. It was all over my back and spreading. Just one of those things, he had said, I bet it will just disappear. I should have asked the odds.

So to help expedite things, I Googled the symptoms and found that some natural remedies are good for skin rashes. I raided the kitchen presses and slathered myself in coconut oil day and night. Baking soda was my powder of choice to rinse with it in the shower. And on a few occasions, I supplemented olive oil for coconut. I smelled like an Asian kitchen.

I did Reiki and covered myself with crystals daily. I even played subliminal skin healing soundtracks on You Tube while I sat at my desk. (Don’t ask!) I cut out coffee. Drank gallons of water daily. Prayed. Did affirmations. Tried on the dress, to see that the rash had increased rather than healed.

It freaked me out. What the hell was causing it?  So I went through my diet and couldn’t think of anything else that could be the cause. The only thing I had started eating more of than anything else was bananas, because they are easy to eat on the sly in the library. Surely it couldn’t be my three bananas a day that was causing it? I entrusted the help of Google again. Violà!

My only allergy is a latex allergy and so I’m well aware that I need to avoid pineapples and kiwis. They grow on plants that have latex proteins and make give me a severe reaction that involves my face and throat swelling, so they’re a big no-no. What I hadn’t realised was that bananas also grow on rubber trees and contain these latex proteins that my body doesn’t like. I went cold turkey on the bananas and the rash improved in days. I am back to just a freckled veneer on my back.

Bananas Dr, it’s all bananas!